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Dominick Graziano has degrees in biology, philosophy and law. He is a member of the Florida Bar, and is Of Counsel with the firm of Bush Graziano Rice & Platter, P.A., www.bgrplaw.com.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

The Gift of Sitting, Alone


                                     

“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." -French philosopher Blaise Pascal, circa 1600s. 

  The Covid 19 pandemic presents each of us the rare opportunity to find out who we are and who we want to ‘become.’ To sit quietly by ourselves, and not be anxious about the silence. This is difficult. The human animal is a social being, and not comfortable being alone. Thus, ‘social distancing’ is not only an experience we’ve never had, it is contrary to our very nature.[i] The life you were living, the ‘person’ you were in the process of ‘becoming,’ has been put on hold.
   So now you have been granted ‘time’ to reflect on who that ‘person’ was. In other words, at any point in time we are ‘becoming’ someone. A friend, a lawyer, a parent, a sibling, etc. But have you ever had sufficient time to reflect on what that means? Now you can, and should, but probably won’t. Instead you are probably ‘anxious’ to get back to where you were, who you were ‘becoming.’ (‘Just get me back home’ as Dorothy pleaded in the Wizard of Oz). 
   That ‘anxiety’ is your ego not knowing what to do because it is no longer ‘in control.’ It has difficulty not being in charge, not being ‘seen’. Not being affirmed by your social and professional surroundings. Those ‘surroundings’ have temporarily been left ‘open.’ You have some unexpected freedom from your psychological boss, the ‘ego.’ Will you take advantage of it?
  Looked at in this way, you have been given a great gift. Accept it and you can reflect on the ‘person’ you were ‘becoming’, and more importantly on the ‘being-to-come.’ Who was that future person ‘coming-into-being’? Do you know?  Do you want to know? Well, now is your opportunity. You are no longer ‘surrounded’ by the milieu that tends to mold you. 
  In the end all we have in this brief life is our time, how we decide to ‘spend’ it, and those decisions define the ‘being-to-come’. We are not a static ‘beings’, rather we are always consciously (mindfully) or unconsciously (mindlessly) in the process of ‘becoming.’  And the process of ‘becoming’ is a lifelong project that only ends with our death.
   We are all potentially ‘works of art’ that are never finished. Yes, works of art. No two alike. All potentially beautiful, inspirational, exemplary of what it means to live a meaningful life. But that will not happen by accident. 
  
  Your gift? Some ‘time’ to sit ‘quietly in a room alone’ and reflect. Reflect on your life. Reflect on who you were ‘becoming’ and on your ‘being-to-come’. 
Savor it.



[i] The ‘availability heuristic’ is a behavioral trait that makes it difficult for humans to expect and deal with rare events that haven’t occurred in our lifetime or are without precedent.
Painting, Eleven, A.M., Edward Hopper, 1926.

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